Lament Lamont ...

LAMENT LAMONT

He's laughed,

He's cried,

He's shouted

And sighed.

He's dribbled

And passed,

But "Simon's Snake"

Won't last.

He's coaching

No more

Staying at home,

Locking the door.

No more 

Waking at dawn

Setting up cones 

In the morn.

No more 

Planning of drills,

No more tactics

Or skills

No more 

Rockleaze to face, 

No more 

Going home in disgrace.

He gave it

everything he's got,

Which ended up

quite a lot.

So say thank you

To Si

Shake his hand

And wave goodbye.

And he thinks

There's no more,

But we'll leave

open the door ...

I'm not surrendering yet ...

I'm just waiting for one of those cool Foxes jackets...

Isn't that offside over there ?

Awww, one big happy family...

Comedy sidekick ... Geoffrey and Bungle.

"Don't touch these poles, I spent all morning setting them up !"

The secret to how we bring so much stuff, unfortunately Chris has to pull it out of my bum ...

 You're going the wrong way ...

Got that jacket I wanted.

"I'll just squeeze one out here, oh no! Ed smelled it !"

Check out the tights boys, they make you run faster ...

I may have said this before ... "PASS MAX !"

The shirt he never wanted ...

Rain or shine .... usually rain.

Getting ready for next season.

And finally, we're a serious club ...

Thanks Si for all your hard work and dedication. 

You've done a fantastic job and been an amazing coach.

If you change your mind anytime, you're always welcome to just stick that cool jacket on and set those cones up before we get there ...

TOTALLY TOURNAMENTAL !

'Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.' ... Bill Shankly

It certainly seemed more important for some ...

But let's start at the beginning !
It was a lovely day. Sunshine, ice cream, candy floss, bouncy castles and a lot of balls.

We were on time, we'd received our programme, we'd found our selected pitch for the day, and we had lots of energy and excitement. It seemed like all was well.

First game :

BOOM ! - LOST.

Second game :

BOOM ! - LOST.

Third game :

BOOM ! BOOM ! - LOST.

"Good gravy !" , we exclaimed. "What happened ?!". At yesterday's training, the boys were on fire. Carving open the opposition, threading passes through defenders, burning holes through the back of the net.

But in those early games today, well, we were a bit rubbish to be honest ! Lots of effort, but not much organisation.

Maybe we should have rested the boys, maybe we should have warmed up properly, maybe we need better coaches ?
Whichever of those (first 2) reasons it is, we weren't doing out best.

But then, our moment came. It was the playoffs. No more matches unless we won. A quarter final for the bottom half. 
They say "From adversity comes great strength", and well, the Rovers certainly proved that ... Pushing, shoving, fighting, swearing, aggressive and downright dodgy, those little terrors ploughed through our boys.

The referee was avoiding it all. Young and inexperienced perhaps, never the like seen before, maybe he thought they'd settle down after a few minutes ... but they didn't.

If any of our foxes were unsure of exactly how to pronounce EVERY swear word in the English language, by the end of that game they were fluent in Docker. No longer would any parent be able to get away with, "No Maxi, I think he said, ''Muddy Funster".'

The kids were upset. The parents were incensed. The coaches were fuming. The Warmley supporters were angry for us. And the grandparents ? Well, that's another story.

Suddenly, Maxi gets pushed from behind for the umpteenth time. He turns and pushes back. The Rovers ragamuffin pushes him back again. The ref runs over and tells them both off. Maxi cries and runs off. Not wanting to play the game he loves any more. 

We send him back on. As Winnie Churchill once said, "When you're going though Hell, just keep going ...".

We wanted a Hollywood Ending, we needed a Hollywood Ending ... and we got our Hollywood Ending !

The battle raged on. Time and time again, young Edward saved us from defeat with his gravity defying acrobatics. He flew around that goal like he was on stunt wires.
Kione, out of his favoured position and in defence, cleared the ball perfectly with his precision volleys. 

We were hanging on. All the boys were giving it everything they had.

It was the last 2 minutes of extra time. 

The score was 0-0. 

In 120 seconds we would have the pressure and pain of a Penalty Shootout. 

So the team forced themselves forward. Our tactics were to score at any cost. 
Stumbling and grumbling, they fearlessly surged through the wall of trouble, bad haircuts and tattoos, pausing only to jot down obscenities they'd never heard before. 
Suddenly, a gap appeared and someone threaded the ball through to Max.  

He turned ... and shot. 

The crowd gasped. Everyone held their breath, the ball rocketed through the air. Their keeper stretched for it, touched it, but it was too strong !!! It boomed into the top corner !
But it bounced straight out from the back of the net into the keeper's hands ! 

Did the Ref see it ? Would he blow his whistle ? Would he give us our Ending ?

PEEEEEP !
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLL !

The crowd went wild. We were through ! 

Sweet Revenge for Max ! Sweet (and Sour) Victory for the Foxes !


Hoooooooooooooowever, this Hollywood Ending had an extended Director's Cut. You know, like one of those movies that was great before, then they re-release it with a different ending and it juuuuust spoils it all ?

You see, unfortunately, during the "constructive criticism for the referee" stage, one of our supporters decided he needed to go on to the pitch to inform the 17 year old official about the rules and regulations that adorn our beautiful game.
And even more bizarrely did it whilst using a golf club as a walking stick.

Maybe he was teed off, or just green with envy that the decisions were going the Rovers' way. Perhaps he thought he wasn't handling the match in a fair way and wasn't up to par. Whatever it was, he figured putting his point across about the opposing club in a rather frank manner wood help our cause and iron out any problems we had.

It didn't.

We got disqualified.

.

.

.

There's more to this story than we need to tell, but suffice it to say, the youngsters learned a lot that day.
Not just all the swear words, but also that, like them, grown ups can be a bit silly too ...

Still, they all had ice creams, and we finished on a win. So well done to all the young Foxsters. 

A bit of a shaky start, but the utter determination in all the games was something to be proud of.

And if there's anything good to come out of this, it's that at least my autobiography is practically writing itself ...


Here's some action shots .. and the obligatory final word ...

... and finally, I have to add ...

Not surprisingly, no one argued with this referee ...

FOXES TOURNAMENT next folks. Everyone's picked. Sign up !

Clifton Controversy !!

If the Clifton Tournament was a newspaper, it'd be called "The Clifton Controversial" !
Despite dubious decisions and painful penalties, the foxes battled their way to the Semi Finals !

Our team: Edward, Ned, Kaylen, Harry, Max, Conrad, Neerij, Kione, Lawrence, George.

Game 1 against the Shire Colts, our last meetings ending in 8 losses in a row. Squeaky bum time ?
'Fraid not !
The boys stepped up, confident and full of energy. Strong at the back, stern in midfield and stinging in attack , we looked like we believed we could do it ! Closer and closer we came until FINALLY ! A breakthrough, Max made it through the defence and nutmegged the keeper for our winning goal !! 
The rest of the team stood firm and battled to keep that lead until the final whistle.

Phew, game 1 over, we were on the way.

Next, Clifton Gladiators, ARE YOU READY ?? Foxes, ARE YOU READY ??
We could never have been ready for what happened next ...

Holding our own, some close calls, some near misses, until PEEEEEEPPPP !! The whistle blows in our area  ! The crowd look surprised, stunned. What's going on ?

Penalty.

Penalty ??? Since when do the tournaments with 9 year olds have penalties ??
Kay was deemed to have brought down someone in the box. Nonsense. And obviously not on purpose, and with no chance of scoring. Terrible decision. But it wouldn't be the last one today.
The penalty was so superbly hit, Max (in goal) didn't stand a chance.

And that was the only goal of the game ... !
1-0 Clifton.

Still, heads up, let's get ready for the next one ! Ashley Down.

Now we've beaten the Downers a few times, so this one should be our easiest game. But you know, football's a strange game.
0-0.
A strong battle, a tough game, and a point for both teams.

Our final match in the group stages was the Golden Hill Sonics. All decked in yellow, it was like The Attack of the Giant Canaries. But we plucked them up good and proper.
By this time, Max had passed out and decided to go throw up in the bushes instead of play this one. 2 late nights in a row had taken their toll on the wee man, and he was out for the count.

The team rallied round, patted him on the back as he chucked up, rolled up their sleeves and good old Harry took up the mantle and charged for goal ... several times ... until Boooooom !! It was in !
Okay, don't get cocky. Stay cool and hold on boys ... 

7 points in the bag. Second in the group stages, WE'RE THROUGH TO THE SEMIS !!


Now, this is where it gets ugly..

The Semi Final.
Against the Shire Colt Blacks. Their A-Team.
I pity the fools that play their A-Team, I pity the fools !

But my giddy aunt, we were strong ! We attacked, we defended, we saved ! In fact, Ed saved 2 certain goals so spectacularly that even the Shire supporters were cheering us.

Full time. 0-0. 

Extra time. 4 minutes, only one way. 

We won the toss ! 
We could play DOWNHILL ! 
This was our moment !

.. and then it all went sour.

A ball blasted into the air, our defenders standing strong, no chance of a goal, but heading for George ! He puts his hands up to protect his face. Boom ! It ricochets off them.

Peeeeep !! Penalty !

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT !!??  The 12 year old referee looked flummoxed as 47,000 parents from both sides and other clubs screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!"

From Fifa's own rules "

Not Awardable

A handball should not be awarded if a player is ruled to have handled the ball accidentally. This refers to a player either attempting to protect himself from injury, for example by placing the hands in front of the face and then being hit by the ball, or a player being hit on the arm by the ball without moving towards the ball and without being able to move out of the way."

Simple.

But the penalty still stood. 
And nobody cheered when it went in. 
Even Ed couldn't stop it. He's a super goalie, not Superman.

With the Foxes distraught and George devastated ( even though he'd done absolutely nothing wrong) there was nothing they could do to stop another goal going in.

Game and Tournament over.

A terrible decision, and a terrible shame, but hey, we found out we were 3rd place overall, out of ten teams that included Rockleaze, Clifton, the Shire Colts, and Bristol Rovers ! Now that is a phenomenal achievement !

And, as a footnote, in a final reminder about the perils of penalties, the poor Shire Colts lost out to Bristol Rovers in the Final due to a retaken penalty. The referee thought the Shire goalkeeper was off his line so made the boy retake his penalty that he just screamed over the bar. His second one went in. 
That's a harsh, big decision against a 9 year old goalie jiggling on his line ...

But, as always, on our part, a great team effort, and a great day !

Very, very proud of all the foxes today, everyone played their best and tried their absolute hardest.

A very special shout out goes to Ed for volunteering several times to stay as goalkeeper. He saved the day literally for us numerous times.

Impenetrable defending from Ned, Kaylen (who was eeeeverywhere today) and Lawrence (or "the big lads at the back" as we like to call them)

And we had a tight, controlled, fast, penetrating midfield of Harry, Max, Neerij, Kione, Conrad and George as they mounted charge after charge, with some great passing, and some lovely moves.

Well done everybody, you fully deserved your 3rd place !!!

Now , here's a few pics I managed to take when I wasn't so excited that I forgot I had my camera ...

Gurmit warming the Foxes up before kick off by using the Hokey Cokey.

Getting closer ...

It's in ! Time to celebrate !

 Battling !!!!!!

and finally ... if you wondered how Terry got into the tournament for free ... he disguised himself as a bin man.

14 GOOOOAAAALLLS !!!

Foxes v Sefton Park Scorpions 27 April 2013

Still a bit lost for words, so more maybe later, but for now: wow!

The mighty Reds won their games 5-1 and 5-0 thanks to peerless goalkeeping by Ed (and Aran); solid defence from Bens L and S and Aran; total midfield domination by our very own midfield general Raymond; and inventive, incisive and generous attacking play from Neeraj and Harry.  Champagne football.


Playing alongside, The Battling Blues didn't do too badly either ! 

Kaylen, Ned, Gabe, Danny, Connie, Archie, Maxi

The first game was a harder fought one than the scoreline would have you think. But Ned smashed the first goal in around the 7 minute mark. 

1-0

Then just as his dad arrived, Archie scored his first goal for the Foxes and couldn't believe his eyes !
"Happy" just didn't cover it !

2-0

Then in the second half, Maxi decided a two goal buffer just wasn't enough and scampered through a couple of defenders to pop in another.

3-0

Lovely stuff. The passing wasn't as classy as the Mighty Reds, we had more of an "individual effort" thing going on. But, you know, it's all about the winning taking part and having fun.

Big shout out again to our conscription goalkeepers, Ned, Kaylen and Max. All of them took turns in goal even though they didn't really want to. So a round of applause to them ! ( Especially Kaylen, who double timed ! )
And a pat on the head for me for taking all the abuse ...

For the second Blues game, the Scorpios mixed it up a little and stuck a tougher team in against us, which caused us some troubles at first. But Max managed to score another goal just after half time. We thought he'd lost it, but a drag back and a left foot scorcher did the trick.

1-0 

... buuuuuut before we'd even finished celebrating, the Seftonites had popped in the equalizer !!

1-1

So we battled on, Gabe's massive throw ins and a scorching volley (that was unfortunately saved) added to the excitement. Danny was being bashed on all sides by their attackers, but stood firm, and Connie, having played like a whirling dervish in midfield, was finally rewarded for all his constant efforts when he popped in the winner !!!

2-1 

Awesome !! Well done Foxlets, drink in the victory !!!

[ One final note from me before I show you the pics, but well done to Harry in the Reds game, he always puts 100% into every game he plays and was justly rewarded with masses of goals in his games. Good on ya cobber, maybe now I'll stop calling you "Haaaaaarold" ... ]

Here's some action :

Defenders of the Realm !

Nobody's chipping Kaylen !

 Nearly there !

 You can just taste victory !

 The winner coming up !

 It's all mine !

I can't believe we're winning !

You're not having it !

 We are !

 Back of the net ...

Foxes vs the Easter Bunnies

It was freezing cold. 

The middle of Easter. 

A hardy bunch of Foxes turned up to devour the Easter Bunnies.

Everyone got a creme egg. 

The score was 12-12.

It was Amani's birthday.

Everyone got a goal.

But it had the strangest ending of any Foxes game ... have a look.

Woaaaah woah, the cliftonites !

... The Downs was muddy ... 

... the Westbury Parkers were scared ... 

... They had visions of their shiny people carriers plastered in filth at the end of the match ...

... but ...

... The game was off ...

But then, woooah, oh, the Cliftonites came up trumps and invited us round theirs for Astro turf heaven !

. Ned . Kaye . Arthur . George . Kione . Harry . Lawrence . Aran . Maxi . 

... Game on ...

Our 9 versus their 25 ... it could be tricky. So we lined up for battle, got into formation, then waited 5 minutes for them to finish their team talk. We kicked off at about 11, which was a shame for Marcus as he'd been there since dawn, being the victim of a cruel coach's 10am kick off hoax devised purely to get the latecomers there on time.

The orange dervishes started their attack, and our candy striped rebels looked clumsy and out of practice. Too many snow days and rainstorms !

BOOM ! One nil down ! 

Things were looking bleak.

Until ... the plan came together , passes were being threaded through, the boys had woken up and remembered what they came here to do.

A shot on goal ! Then another. We were getting closer. 

Suddenly, a break ! The ball broke free in the area, Arthur shuffled his bottom faster than a speeding train and slammed that pigskin into the back of the net !

1-1 !

With a renewed vigour, the boys continued on, until again, a break ! The midfield swept the ball to Max, he took 3 steps to the right, the defenders were closing in, he struck .... and the ball floated into the top left corner !

2-1 !

Now, as tactics go, we at the foxes have a simple strategy. Just keep playing in exactly the same way, whatever the score.

Unfortunately, not pulling everyone back into the now famous defensive "Lamont Line" of at least 6 defenders, meant the Cliftonites slipped through. A fumbled ball, time stood still, a foot away from the goal line, could we clear it in time ???

No ! 

2-2 !

The whistle blew. A good game. A fair result. 

But now the pressure was really on. Our team of 9 now went down to 8, as Aran had to leave due to other commitments and the fact that the opposition were dragging out the morning, probably because it was lovely and sunny.
The Cliftonites were very accommodating though and fielded a team of 8 themselves. But this was a new 8, straight off the bench, with fresh legs and more energy than the duracell bunny.

Would it be too much for our boys ? Would they feel the pace during this game ? 
Tension mounted, and we were off.

Tiredness was not an issue it seemed. The boys were on fire. The previous game had got them battle ready, their fresh 8 were struggling and on the back foot !

We peppered their goal with several shots. Their defence was strong though, until suddenly, a break ! The ball broke free in the area, Arthur shuffled his bottom faster than a speeding train and slammed that pigskin into the back of the net ! 

Right place. Right time !

1-0.

Could this be the start of something wonderful ? Our defence was strong, our keepers were doing a fine job, our midfielders were chasing every ball down, and our lone striker, well, he was just popping them in.

Suddenly, a break ! The ball broke free in the area, Arthur shuffled his bottom faster than a speeding train and slammed that pigskin into the back of the net ! 

Right place. Right time !

2-0 !

Should we change tactics ? Restructure ? Fire up the 'Lamont Line' ?!

Naaaaah !

... So they scored . Bottom corner. Even a valiant dive from Maxi, looking like Joe Hart in a head and shoulders commercial, couldn't quite get to it.

2-1. Half time. 

And then we started to feel it. The legs getting slower, the tackles getting sloppier. Until finally, the inevitable happened and the United front of Clifton popped in an equalizer a minute from time.

2-2.

But, you know what, it was okay. We'd done ourselves proud. In a previous game against Clifton, we'd lost 7-1, so two draws was a-okay !

Well done Foxes, you were all brilliant. Thanks to each and every one of you.

A special shout goes out to our volunteer(ed) goalkeepers, Ned, Lawrence, Max and Kione, for stepping up without complaint to stick the gloves on.

Onwards and upwards folks !

New term, new conditions

Having perfected our sub-aqua/mud-lark footballing ability, the weather's got something new to throw at us.  Severe weather warning for sleet & snow tomorrow, so PLEASE ensure your little treasures are dressed accordingly.

Also those of you paying termly, please note subs are due for terms 3&4.  £10 please.  Thanks.

After this week, we have three fixtures on the bounce running up to half term - please sign up for those for which your son is available so we can get on with selection planning - cheers.

See you tomorrow.  "I'm walking in the air....."