Clifton United we stand (against)

Well, that was a turn up for the books !

Our "one team only, but training beforehand and alongside" didn't quite turn out as planned !

I thought we were going to end up with a scruffy piece of grass next to the bins to have a little kickabout in. 

But no !

Possibly the best pitch we've ever trained on ! 
A good hour's foxes friendly match beforehand, and then out of the blue the Clifton coach tells me he has 14 kids turn up after all, and did we want to put 2 teams in !

Well, we didn't quite have enough for 2 teams, so he said, "we'll just do 6 a side then."

So everyone got to play matches ! How cool is that ?!

We split our little rabble up into 2 and away we went. 

Now, I'm still waiting for my partner in (lots of) crime(s) to give me a rundown of his matches, but the two I reffed went a little something like this :

Marc, Ned, Connie, Kione, Arthur and Harry tensed up and got ready for battle.

The first half was ace. We were all over them. Storming down the pitch, shots banjo-ing around their goal, left, right and centre.

Then calamity struck !  A free kick from them billied around the goalmouth for a while and was somehow tapped in.

Up until then, Marc in goal had been braver than the lone ranger bumping into a 1000 red indians, and saying, "we're in trouble now Tonto." , and Tonto saying, "what do you mean 'we', paleface ?".

He was diving at people's feet, clutching the ball like his life depended on it. Even surviving a clash with Harry at top speed (310mph) which broke Harry's knee and span Marc's head around 4 times.

But the whole team were battling brilliantly, and at the end of the first half, I could only say, "Keep doing that !".
Very unlucky not to have scored 5 or more.

The second half, the young guns took their foot of the pedal for a minute and ended up 3 down, but only due to the quality of the Clifton team, not from any fault of ours.

Luckily though, our tried and trusted striker Artie managed to get one back.
The usual "right time, right place, right in the back of the net" kind of thing we've grown to love and expect from the fire footed demon !

So a 3-1 victory for Clifton, but certainly not a loss for us !

Well played Team 1 ... !

Team 2 :

Ed, Ben S, George, Max, Kay and Neerij had just completed one match and managed a 1-1 draw, so rallied themselves to face the Cliftonites that team 1 had just played.

This match was a proper battle ! End to end, lots of scrapping, and barging, until BOOM ! BOING ! A deflected shot ricocheted into the net before Ed could even react. 

Poo. Nobody's fault. Not to worry, back to battle !

And we didn't have to wait long. The Cliftonites left Maxi alone for a few seconds too long. He cued it up and popped that puppy into the top corner. 

Beauty . 1-1.

That'll do nicely !

As far as the 2 other games were concerned that were overseen by my lovely assistant, a 1-1 and a slightly troublesome 6-1 were the results.

But overall, a great bit of football from the chaps today.

2  perfectly picked out powerblasters from Maxi.
A top of the range tap in from Arthur.
And a battling, bruiser of a bang in from Ned.

But making all those possible was a fantastic team effort.

Well done everybody !

We will, we will, Fox you !

They think it's all over ...

... it is now.

Thanks for the  memories folks. It's gonna be pretty quiet now until September. 

I may throw a few "Brommy's Balls Ups" over the summer just for a random kick around, but I'll let you know when they are.

I just wanted to throw you a few pics. I selected a fair few for the Tournament certificates, but a few of them got cropped and a couple got dropped, so I'll stick them in here for you now. 
( Just click on the pic for a bigger version. )

Your little terrors, at their finest. See you in the Summer ...

Lament Lamont ...

LAMENT LAMONT

He's laughed,

He's cried,

He's shouted

And sighed.

He's dribbled

And passed,

But "Simon's Snake"

Won't last.

He's coaching

No more

Staying at home,

Locking the door.

No more 

Waking at dawn

Setting up cones 

In the morn.

No more 

Planning of drills,

No more tactics

Or skills

No more 

Rockleaze to face, 

No more 

Going home in disgrace.

He gave it

everything he's got,

Which ended up

quite a lot.

So say thank you

To Si

Shake his hand

And wave goodbye.

And he thinks

There's no more,

But we'll leave

open the door ...

I'm not surrendering yet ...

I'm just waiting for one of those cool Foxes jackets...

Isn't that offside over there ?

Awww, one big happy family...

Comedy sidekick ... Geoffrey and Bungle.

"Don't touch these poles, I spent all morning setting them up !"

The secret to how we bring so much stuff, unfortunately Chris has to pull it out of my bum ...

 You're going the wrong way ...

Got that jacket I wanted.

"I'll just squeeze one out here, oh no! Ed smelled it !"

Check out the tights boys, they make you run faster ...

I may have said this before ... "PASS MAX !"

The shirt he never wanted ...

Rain or shine .... usually rain.

Getting ready for next season.

And finally, we're a serious club ...

Thanks Si for all your hard work and dedication. 

You've done a fantastic job and been an amazing coach.

If you change your mind anytime, you're always welcome to just stick that cool jacket on and set those cones up before we get there ...

TOTALLY TOURNAMENTAL !

'Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.' ... Bill Shankly

It certainly seemed more important for some ...

But let's start at the beginning !
It was a lovely day. Sunshine, ice cream, candy floss, bouncy castles and a lot of balls.

We were on time, we'd received our programme, we'd found our selected pitch for the day, and we had lots of energy and excitement. It seemed like all was well.

First game :

BOOM ! - LOST.

Second game :

BOOM ! - LOST.

Third game :

BOOM ! BOOM ! - LOST.

"Good gravy !" , we exclaimed. "What happened ?!". At yesterday's training, the boys were on fire. Carving open the opposition, threading passes through defenders, burning holes through the back of the net.

But in those early games today, well, we were a bit rubbish to be honest ! Lots of effort, but not much organisation.

Maybe we should have rested the boys, maybe we should have warmed up properly, maybe we need better coaches ?
Whichever of those (first 2) reasons it is, we weren't doing out best.

But then, our moment came. It was the playoffs. No more matches unless we won. A quarter final for the bottom half. 
They say "From adversity comes great strength", and well, the Rovers certainly proved that ... Pushing, shoving, fighting, swearing, aggressive and downright dodgy, those little terrors ploughed through our boys.

The referee was avoiding it all. Young and inexperienced perhaps, never the like seen before, maybe he thought they'd settle down after a few minutes ... but they didn't.

If any of our foxes were unsure of exactly how to pronounce EVERY swear word in the English language, by the end of that game they were fluent in Docker. No longer would any parent be able to get away with, "No Maxi, I think he said, ''Muddy Funster".'

The kids were upset. The parents were incensed. The coaches were fuming. The Warmley supporters were angry for us. And the grandparents ? Well, that's another story.

Suddenly, Maxi gets pushed from behind for the umpteenth time. He turns and pushes back. The Rovers ragamuffin pushes him back again. The ref runs over and tells them both off. Maxi cries and runs off. Not wanting to play the game he loves any more. 

We send him back on. As Winnie Churchill once said, "When you're going though Hell, just keep going ...".

We wanted a Hollywood Ending, we needed a Hollywood Ending ... and we got our Hollywood Ending !

The battle raged on. Time and time again, young Edward saved us from defeat with his gravity defying acrobatics. He flew around that goal like he was on stunt wires.
Kione, out of his favoured position and in defence, cleared the ball perfectly with his precision volleys. 

We were hanging on. All the boys were giving it everything they had.

It was the last 2 minutes of extra time. 

The score was 0-0. 

In 120 seconds we would have the pressure and pain of a Penalty Shootout. 

So the team forced themselves forward. Our tactics were to score at any cost. 
Stumbling and grumbling, they fearlessly surged through the wall of trouble, bad haircuts and tattoos, pausing only to jot down obscenities they'd never heard before. 
Suddenly, a gap appeared and someone threaded the ball through to Max.  

He turned ... and shot. 

The crowd gasped. Everyone held their breath, the ball rocketed through the air. Their keeper stretched for it, touched it, but it was too strong !!! It boomed into the top corner !
But it bounced straight out from the back of the net into the keeper's hands ! 

Did the Ref see it ? Would he blow his whistle ? Would he give us our Ending ?

PEEEEEP !
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLL !

The crowd went wild. We were through ! 

Sweet Revenge for Max ! Sweet (and Sour) Victory for the Foxes !


Hoooooooooooooowever, this Hollywood Ending had an extended Director's Cut. You know, like one of those movies that was great before, then they re-release it with a different ending and it juuuuust spoils it all ?

You see, unfortunately, during the "constructive criticism for the referee" stage, one of our supporters decided he needed to go on to the pitch to inform the 17 year old official about the rules and regulations that adorn our beautiful game.
And even more bizarrely did it whilst using a golf club as a walking stick.

Maybe he was teed off, or just green with envy that the decisions were going the Rovers' way. Perhaps he thought he wasn't handling the match in a fair way and wasn't up to par. Whatever it was, he figured putting his point across about the opposing club in a rather frank manner wood help our cause and iron out any problems we had.

It didn't.

We got disqualified.

.

.

.

There's more to this story than we need to tell, but suffice it to say, the youngsters learned a lot that day.
Not just all the swear words, but also that, like them, grown ups can be a bit silly too ...

Still, they all had ice creams, and we finished on a win. So well done to all the young Foxsters. 

A bit of a shaky start, but the utter determination in all the games was something to be proud of.

And if there's anything good to come out of this, it's that at least my autobiography is practically writing itself ...


Here's some action shots .. and the obligatory final word ...

... and finally, I have to add ...

Not surprisingly, no one argued with this referee ...

FOXES TOURNAMENT next folks. Everyone's picked. Sign up !